What To Do When A Pre School Kid Hurts Animals

Note to Readers: Kids biting and striking at school or the playground crusade a stressful parenting issue that many of usa would rather not accept to accost. Harsh punishments usually escalate the unwanted behaviors. It is important to understand why a child might hit, bite, or scratch and guide your child to more acceptable social behavior. Thanks to Wendy and Dr. Lynne for sharing their professional and parenting wisdom.

by Wendy Immature

Physical acts of aggression such as bitter, striking and scratching are amongst the biggest concerns voiced by parents and educators of toddlers and preschoolers.  While it's shocking and probably embarrassing when your kid becomes physically ambitious, it'south not unusual behavior for young kids. When children are overcome with feelings such as anger, fright, frustration or disappointment, for example, because another child has possession of a toy they want, they don't have the linguistic communication to express it.

But the question remains, why does a child engage in physical aggression?

To answer this question, I'll pull from an upwards and coming book, "Time-In, Not Time-Out", co-written by Dr. Lynne Kenney and me. This soon-to-be-released book tackles some of the about challenging behaviors of early childhood and helps parents and caregivers respond in ways which pull children towards greater success.

To offset off, let'southward wait at this from two separate perspectives; biological and social.

From a Biological Perspective: To a young child, physical aggression seems like the quickest way to become her point across, "I'm frustrated, mad, or overwhelmed."  Not even so having the exact skills, or the cognitive ability to process all that is going on around her or inside of her and put it into words, it's no wonder that objectionable behavior becomes one of the quickest routes the kid sees to get her needs met.  A kid simply lacks the exact skills to say, "Hey, that is my toy, I am playing with it, find something else to play with."  Well-nigh makes you laugh a bit, because when does a kid get language like that?

From a Social Perspective: A young child doesn't yet accept the maturity or skills to relax, accept a deep breath and limited her frustration like an older child could.  Nobody is born with these abilities.  These skills will take time and require a patient, nurturing parent or caregiver to convey and model these abilities.  This is a process and must continually be demonstrated to the child in various areas of her life.

A Telephone call for Aid

Over and over again parents ask, "How do I punish my child out of this behavior?" The answer is, "You Don't ." We teach children into new behaviors, we cannot punish them out of undesirable ones. Parents and caregivers need to take a deep breath and recognize that physical aggression is one way for a kid to say, "I need help from you in figuring out how to do this improve."  Assume when your child bites, or engages in other acts of concrete aggression, that she had no other selection bachelor to her at the moment. She needs your support in finding better alternatives.

Wouldn't life be easier for us big people, if we could look at every misguided behavior in this manner, every single time?  Yeah, I remember it would!

Kickoff Things Kickoff: Help the Injured Kid

Okay, so the physical altercation has already taken identify. What to practice?

1. Tend to the injured child beginning.  Offer comfort measures.
2. Help both parties at-home down.
3. Let the child who caused physical harm to make amends.  This does not mean making them apologize.  The child tin apologize if he/she chooses, but that should not be insisted upon by the adult. Nigh importantly, you will desire to help the child heal the relationship with the child she injured by assuasive her to offer to fetch an ice-pack or provide the injured kid with a stuffed beast or some other "lovie".
4. Engage both children in a soothing action, if they are open to it.

The Final Analysis: Help the Child with Misguided Behavior

Tending to the injured kid is just one office of the equation.  Your work is not yet done hither.  Next, it'southward time to assist the child with misguided behavior larn some amend means to get her needs met in the time to come.

You can starting time by saying things such as:

• "Biting (or hitting or scratching) hurts.  Allow's find a way to tell what y'all need."
• "Information technology's okay to be mad.  Everybody gets mad sometimes.  Nosotros can tell other people, 'I'm mad!'"
• "When you get really aroused and don't know what to do, you can ask for help."
• "It's okay to say, "NO" when someone is doing something yous don't like."
• "You can get your mad feelings out past ripping upward erstwhile paper or pounding on play-dough."

What about Consequences?

Ah, the age one-time dilemma.  "When you mess upwards, you must pay for it!"  Unfortunately, nosotros are still often stuck in an antiquated way of looking at childhood misbehavior.  Time-out and other aversive methods are counter-productive because they teach kids to bottle-up and repress their emotions. It punishes them for not knowing what to exercise. It also shows them that we take no skills or alternatives to teach them. Meeting a child's needs and teaching her ameliorate means to handle her feelings of upset, in the long run, supports her in learning to meet her own needs in socially proactive ways.

As adults, we are oft fooled into thinking that a kid's behavior has improved because nosotros provided them with consequences.  This is non exactly the case.  The reality is that behavior improves when 1 learns new skills.  Here's to skill-edifice for all kids!

Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD is the mom of three kids still at home, an award-winning Kid & Family Therapist and the founder of Kidlutions: Solutions for Kids. She blogs at Spin-Doctor Parenting {and teaching!} and is the behavioral wellness practiced for momtourage.com.

Children demand to learn to manage stress and anger in a healthy manner to minimize the chances of biting and hitting. A family that incorporates relaxation into their lives empowers children to accept good for you coping strategies. The Indigo Dreams Series addresses stress and anger management for adults, teens, and children. Available in CD or download format.

Source: https://stressfreekids.com/10190/kids-biting-and-hittin/

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